


Foolish Heart

by Taste_of_Suburbia



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Angst, Angst Giles, Dancing, F/M, Hallucinations, Romance, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-01
Updated: 2012-10-01
Packaged: 2017-11-15 10:48:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 973
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/526464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Taste_of_Suburbia/pseuds/Taste_of_Suburbia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He knows he should turn away, refuse to dwell on past tragedies but he can't. No matter how much his heart begs him to she is such a vision. His vision.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Foolish Heart

**Author's Note:**

> Spoilers for Season 2's 'Passion'. Don't exactly know when this should be set, I'm thinking sometime after the Season 2 finale.  
> Another Jenny/Giles one. What can I say? I adore them too much, wish they had had more time but that scene when Giles sees Jenny permanently gone was beyond perfect, stays glued in my mind longer than is probably healthy. Hope you like.

There’s a tingling feeling crawling up his spine and taking permanent residence in his gut. Giles lets his fingers wander away from the pages of the book he recently opened, listens for a moment and hopes he’s the only one in the library tonight, that no vampires are lurking about when Buffy is sleeping at home for all he knows, since she should be done with her rounds by now. 

His ears betray him, there’s a slight rustling sound that makes him freeze, his face turning milk-white and eyes bulging out in fear. He turns around hesitantly. Jenny stands there, wearing a long and lovely multicolored skirt, cue to her quite refined fashion sense; skirts and dresses and other apparel that makes her shine. While her skirt may be untouched though, her shirt is not, the red stains of her blood on its wrinkled white surface macabre and devastating to lay eyes on. 

The vision is beautiful though as his eyes slide up to her chalk-white face, proof that this is merely a dream, no cause of hope or justification for giving into said hope. He can’t turn away, no matter how much his heart begs him to.

He loves Jenny, it has never been a secret, not to him or Buffy, Xander and Willow. The librarian doubts it was a secret to Jenny either. Maybe that’s why she’s here, right now, to say some final words, admit things she never had before her... demise. Death is too strong a word, even in his head. Why does this all have to be so difficult?

“Hi Rupert.” It’s her, that familiar melodic voice, music to his ears and tugging on his heartstrings. He feels like a schoolboy with a major crush all over again. Jenny was more than that though, he wanted her to be more than just temporary so badly. 

He gasps, “Jenny?” Surprised his lips are even able to form words, he dares to take a step closer, wanting so much to just be near to her. 

All she does is smile as she floats, rather than walks, up to him, staring at him intensely for several moments. She never lets the smile leave her face, never breaks away from his eyes even as she takes his hand and holds it tightly, as a last connection between the two of them. A final connection that Giles wishes he could have formed when she was dying, just to hold her hand, let her know that even if she had to die alone... dammit, he should’ve been there. Should have been able to say goodbye but he supposes it would have just been too good to be true. 

Giles can’t say anything more... can’t seem to form decent words. Jenny doesn’t seem to mind, she’s so patient and stunning and so gone. Too far gone to even be here right now yet here she is, forgiving him and embracing him and suddenly it’s all too much and he pulls away, takes his hand out of her astonishingly cold grip. The guilt clouds over his mind like it did when he first saw her on his bed, a sick joke from Angel, that crushing blow to his head and to his heart and to all reason. 

It would never leave him and Buffy understood that. Was there for him, pleading him, bringing him back to his senses when he wanted it all to end so badly. How would he ever repay her?

And more importantly, how could he keep his head with Jenny so very here right now?

“I don’t know...” He stutters, takes a deep breath as his eyes plead Jenny for understanding. “I don’t know how to do this,” he continues, “see you here. Knowing you’ll never come back. It eats away at me inside.” _Puts me in a haze for days, I will never be the same. Knowing you and I can never... have anything._

“I know,” she reassures. “But I’ll give you a hint, Rupert. Just take my hand and never let go. If you let go you won’t see me again.” Tears are finally forming in her eyes, her smile grows increasingly larger on her face, so white yet still so full of life, so close, but her smile is so sad and disappointed. He never wanted to see her like this, full of as many regrets as he is.

And the words, so permanent. Unforgiving. 

“Jenny...”

“Shh,” she places a finger to his open lips. “Just dance with me. Let my final moment with you last. Please.”

And how could he ever deny her?

“Alright,” he says, his voice thick with emotion and tears spilling out from under his glasses. She takes them off, kisses his eyelids gently, holding his head in her hands, rubbing her thumbs along his ears and hairline, over his lips and across his forehead. More than anything, he never wants them to leave, never wants her to leave. It’s not fair. It’s not fair for her to live him so soon, to leave this world when she still has so much life in her left. 

They dance, for ages and ages. Jenny feels real and almost permanent but the librarian knows better. It doesn’t stop him though, from loving her, missing her, taking this last opportunity to be with her. And when Giles lets go of her he hears her whisper echo throughout his head as she dissipates, “Don’t forget me.”

“Never Jenny.” He smiles a little, sadly though a little happily as well as she smiles back. She looks so beautiful, so much at peace that it’s astonishing. “I never will.”

_Never could. Not even an old, stuffy librarian such as myself that has more history than one could hope to endure. Never Jenny. Because you have my foolishly in love heart._

**FIN**


End file.
